Friday, May 23, 2008

Friday, 5/23/08

Today Mom and I started doing something we haven't done since I was a child: we began reading a novel together.

I had been looking through her books in the living room searching for something good to read when I came upon something that looked interesting. It was a book called "The Weeping Chamber." As I pulled it out I asked mom if she remembered if it was very good or not. She said she didn't remember and that she hadn't ever read it all the way through. When I asked her if I could borrow it, she suggested that we read it together instead. She said Marcia had told her that the Scotts read as a family every night and that she thought it sounded like a good idea. I remember doing it when I was in elementary school (or around that time anyway), although mom only remembers reading stories to me at night when I was younger.

Tonight, we read the first 4 chapters of The Weeping Chamber. Mom has a hard time reading because she needs new glasses, so I read aloud to her. It seems like it's going to be a really good book. I even wanted to keep going, but mom was getting tired so we called it a night. I have a feeling I am really going to like the book though. It's about two men who live during the week of the greatest drama in history (the week leading up to Jesus' Crucifixion). We see all the events through their eyes. The inside flap says that "through their eyes we see Caiaphas, Herod, Pilate, and Judas - and understand the all-too-human motivations that we share with them."

If the book keeps being as good as it is, I would recommend reading it. But, since I'm only on chapter 4, I can't say for sure just how good it is. However, I have an inkling it's going to be great. Not just the book, but spending quality time with my mom.

Have a great day and God Bless! :-)

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Happy Day!

It works again!! :-D I think it was a gear or something. I was sitting at the table turning the switch on and off, willing it to work with each click. About the 5th time I moved the switch, I heard a click inside (possibly a gear snapping back into place?) and the zoom lense started moving again. So, I turned it on and off a couple times, took a picture, and it works! I'm so happy! I guess a lot of people were praying it was fixable! :-D

Sunday, May 18, 2008

Broken Heart, Broken Camera, Broken Everything

Today my camera got broken. Not much else to say. Anyone who knows me knows how upsetting this is... If I write anymore, that would be dwelling on it. And if I dwell on it, I'll cry.

Maybe Josiah can fix it...

Friday, May 16, 2008

Size 10

"This is for you," Leah exclaimed as she shoved a present in my hand as soon as she opened the door to let me in. "I got you a present!" As I set down the present and the slushies I had brought Leah and me, Audrey explained that it was actually from both of them (of course I knew that!). After giving Leah her slushy and taking a sip of mine, I anxiously began to open it, dying to know what on earth they got me. "Flip-Flops!" I exclaimed as I laughed. They were a very pretty blue that is see-through and the straps have little blue rhinestones on them. "There's another present in there," Leah let me know. Another pair of flip-flops! Wow! These were a metallic neon green! "Leah insisted that we get that pair for you because she kept saying it was your favorite color," Audrey said. I had to laugh at the irony. Audrey has harassed me from the beginning about my always wearing flip-flops and now, as she put it, she was "contributing to the problem." Audrey then explained to me that she had told Cinda awhile back that she had to get me some, but didn't know what size to get. After that, she asked Abigail if she knew. Abigail told her she didn't, but that she could find out because she was very sneaky about that. She's right. I had no clue.

The rest of the visit went really well. I sat down on the step by the living room and Leah came and sat right next to me (with the exception of Lucy, who beat her and was sitting between us getting a tummy rub). After visiting with Audrey for a bit, Leah asked me if I wanted to play. Seeing as this was the last opportunity, I told her I would for a bit, figuring I could still visit some with Audrey while I played. Apparently I couldn't do it very well. Leah kept getting frustrated at me and letting out big sighs, letting me know I was ignoring her because I was talking to Audrey. So I started concentrating more on playing with the dolls and dollhouse Leah had brought out. At first she wouldn't let my doll live in the house with hers, but I finally convinced her to share because if she didn't my doll would have to sleep on the streets in a cardboard box.

After playing with Leah for a little bit, it was time to leave. Wes and Audrey had to go somewhere. We said our good-byes and hugged. "I love you," Audrey said as she hugged me. Of course I told her I loved her too. I hugged Leah as I tried not to cry (I didn't want their last memory to be of me crying). I said good-bye to Lucy, gave Wes a quick hug, then headed out the door. Thinking I would start crying as soon as I got outside, I was surprised to find myself almost smiling. It's such a weird feeling wanting to cry because you're sad, but almost smiling because you're also happy.

I don't think my last visit with them could have gone any better.

Been Busy

Well, I am finally about to post another blog entry, but first I want to apologize to my loyal readers (if there are any besides Abigail :-P) for not posting in so long. First it wasn't recognizing my e-mail address for awhile. Then I got busy with final projects, finals, etc. But I am back! I'm not even going to attempt to update ya'll on what has been going on in my life the past month because that would take way to long and, as much as some people love me, I don't think they want to hear my life story. ;-) I will just write a new post after this one telling of my day today (so far anyway).

Love you guys!

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Tuesday, April 15th, 2008

Well, I was right. Today I was fine. I went to bed after writing that last post and cried myself to sleep while talking to God. Part of my problem is that I have a hard time keeping my mouth shut most of the time when mom is correcting me or getting onto me for something I should have done but forgot. That's a large part of why I was upset last night and why I often wonder if she wouldn't be better off without me because I can't seem to be a good Godly child. It's frustrating.

When I woke up this morning, I was feeling a bit better, but still not happy. I opened my devotional and started flipping through the pages to find today's devotion so I could read the verses when I stumbled across a devotion from a different day that really caught my eye. Not because I hadn't heard it before, but because it fit exactly what I was going through. This devotion, as it was, happened to be about taming the tongue. As I started reading it (and the verses that went with it) I was almost in tears again. It started talking about listening to others and asking them how their lives were going instead of talking about yourself all the time, which I do for the most part. It really hit home though because a couple months ago when Abigail and I were talking about how to make friends when you move to a new place, she told me people like to be asked how they are doing. I tried not to take offense, but I ended up taking it as though she were telling me to shut up about myself once in awhile (sorry AJ). I began praying earnestly for God to help me.

After finishing that devotion, I went on to today's devotion. Later in the afternoon I ran into 'Cinda in the library. Well, she ran into me and scared the dickens outta me. Anyway, she invited me to come eat lunch with her and Meagan V. Well that just made my day! Really cheered me up. Through the course of the conversation at lunch, I tried to be extra aware of how much I was talking and making sure I wasn't talking too much about myself. The devotional kept coming back into my mind over and over again. As I was sitting there, I went over our conversation that had happened so far and it seemed like I had been talking an awful lot about myself. Well intended of course, because I wanted to catch her up on what was going on in my life, but still probably more than she wanted to hear. I felt like crying. I hated that I had messed up again. I started asking her and Meagan how they were doing, not so much out of guilt, but because I really was interested. After that I made it a point to keep quiet and listen to them talk for the rest of the meal.


The rest of the day went pretty well. I had a class after lunch then went home and studied pretty much the rest of the evening (until now of course).

I still find it interesting how God has helped me to be more sensitive to the Spirit lately. All these years I've asked, but it never seemed to do any good. Maybe I wasn't trying hard enough on my part back then.

Well, I need to get to bed now. Jacinda is meeting me at the fitness center at 7am so we can workout together. Have a great and blessed day in the Lord!

Monday, April 14, 2008

The pain is deep,
It cuts like a knife.
Oh dear Lord,
Please end my strife.

Just get me through
Or end my life;
I don't care,
I'm giving up the fight.

To be with You
Is what I long for.
Nothing less,
Nothing more.

I'm fading fast;
I'm almost gone.
I see Heaven's gates
And I hear a song.

Noone will miss me
Once I'm gone.
Maybe just Abigail,
But she'll move on.

Perhaps mom will,
But only for a bit.
She'll be better off without me,
That's why I have to quit.

I'm giving up the fight,
There's nothing more to say.
Just take me quickly
Oh Lord I pray.

I don't know if I should post this, but I'm going to anyway. Don't worry if you read this, I'm sure I'll be fine tomorrow. Maybe.

Sunday, April 13, 2008

Sunday, April 13, 2008

Ok, this blog is going to be short and sweet because I don't really have much to say. I just wanted to share something that happened today.

It's amazing how God can use people of every shape and size, young and old. I went to church this evening because I didn't go this morning and felt bad about it. When I walked in I was snubbed by a couple of the girls from the college Bible study. I let it get to me more than I should have and was fighting back tears. All throughout the sermon (which just happened to be about Jonathan and David and how Saul didn't like David, but David served him anyway) I kept thinking about it and was feeling depressed. Wes, Audrey, and Leah were sitting behind me, but since they didn't see my face, I'm sure they didn't really know what was going on, which is a good thing. I don't like people to see me when I'm upset. Anyway, after the sermon Leah slipped me a folded up piece of paper. When I opened it it said "I love you amber" and she had drawn a picture of us holding hands. Naturally, that just made my day and made me feel a whole lot better. I really am going to miss that little girl when they move away next month.

Saturday, April 12, 2008

Saturday, April 12th, 2008

Yesterday, I woke up at 5:30 am because I had a lot I wanted to get done before class. When I got up one of the first things I saw was my Bible and thought I really should do my devotions because I had asked God to remind me to do them in the mornings. Well, I didn't enough time to allow myself to wake up AND do my devotions because I had other stuff to get done, so I decided to do my devotions WHILE i woke up. Bad idea. I don't remember anything I read because I was 1/2 asleep. All I remember is reading 2 Psalms on my own and doing a daily devotion out of 2 devotionals. I felt bad, but I just can't concentrate that early in the morning. I just prayed that God understood and that He looked at my heart. Anyway, I had to go get mom some ice before going to school so I did that then headed over to the fitness center at Tech to work out, something I haven't done in over a year and want to get back into the habit of doing. Well it's supposed to open at 6 am, but when I got there at 7am, it was still closed. Since I had been planning to call April and see if she wanted to have breakfast after I worked out, I went ahead and called her, thinking I'd just work out after I ate. Well, she had been thinking about skipping breakfast. but decided we could meet at the caf at 9:15 for a late one since we hadn't been able to spend anytime together lately. I was stoked! :-) Since Tech Fit still wasn't open, I went for a little drive so I could just talk to God and think. When I got back to Tech Fit at 7:45, it was STILL closed. So I went and wasted time until April and I met for breakfast. That was fun! I'm so happy we got to hang out. We haven't really gotten to do that this semester because she's been so busy (I have been too, but not nearly as busy as she has been). She had class at 10 so we didn't get to spend a whole lot of time visiting, but it was a nice visit nonetheless.

At 1, I had an appointment with the heart doctor. That went ok. She did however order me to get some bloodwork done and wants to see me in 6 months because my blood pressure was borderline and she wants to checkup on it again. Afterwards I headed back over to Tech Fit to work out and lo and behold, I locked my keys in the car!! Slightly embarrased, I called April and meekly asked for a ride back to my apartment so I could get mom's keys and open it. She was nice enough to give me a ride. :-) When I got back to the car and got my keys out, I went inside and FINALLY got to work out. I was so happy to finally get to work out again! Later that evening April called and said they had opened the floodgates at the Lock & Dam so mom and I drove out there to look. Not nearly as pretty as the pictures of the ones at Norfork Dam, but kinda fun to look at anyway. After that we went across the bridge because another friend had told me that there was a baseball field on the other side that was completely underwater. Boy was it ever! There was a basketball court next to it and you could barely see the hoops! I know to some people (*cough* Abigail) that might not seem like much since they've seen worse, but I've never seen flooding firsthand so it was an interesting experience. That pretty much sums up my day. The rest of it was pretty uneventful. Not that I'm complaining! :-)

Today when I woke up, I didn't do my devotions mainly because I was discouraged that I didn't really remember what I read yesterday. After getting on the computer to wake up a bit, and watching an episode of VeggieTales (did that bring back memories!), I headed over to Wal-Mart to get a few prescriptions filled and get some household items. They were shorthanded at the pharmacy and I had to wait for an hour. After getting the other items I needed, I headed over to the books section and looked at some of them in the inspirational section. I couldn't believe what they called "inspirational"! There was a murder mystery book there about a guy named Adam who died and was resurrected and at some point decide if he was going to die for his wife, who was named Eve. *Insert eyes rolling.* Someone tell me how this was inspirational? Just because it's a couple named Adam and Eve (which I don't think they should have done anyway) doesn't make it inspirational! Come on people! Anyway, I gave up on looking for a good novel and started looking at the Bibles and devotionals. I came across one by Beth Moore and opened it up. Guess what it said on the page I opened up? “God delights in the attentions you give Him even if you practice them much like you did yesterday.” HELLO! Talk about a slap in the face! I had been praying for God to make it obvious when He was talking to me. Well, He did! Isn't it funny how we ask God for something then we're so surprised when He answers? Or maybe that's just me. Well, that's pretty much it. When I got home, I had to clean teh floors and bathroom, but that's pretty much all I did. Oh, I called one of my friends from back home who I haven't talked to in atleast 6 months and we had a nice talk. Anyway, if you read this all the way through, God Bless You! I know it's long. If you didn't, atleast read the first and last paragraphs. They are the main reasons I wrote this. Have a great day in the Lord! :-) Signing off!

Monday, April 7, 2008

3:45 AM, Monday Morning

Here I sit, once again, unable to sleep. However, unlike the other times, I used the opportunity to read my Bible. Ok, first I watched music videos from Christian artists on YouTube, but for the last 1 1/2 hours I have been reading my Bible. It is amazing how you can get so absorbed in it. I started out reading John 17 because a dear friend of mine had given me some notes on it and I had yet to go over them. Then I went on to 2 Corinthians 5 because I had some questions about it and felt they would best be answered by reading it rather than asking questions. Or atleast read it before I ask the questions. Anyway, I got so lost in reading about Paul that I was finishing the book before I knew it. I still can't believe I read 9 chapters (not counting 1 or 2 from John).

The reason I am writing this blog is because while reading 2 Corinthians 5 I took some notes I thought some people might be interested in reading. I must warn you though, I am by no means an expert. Far from it in fact. I encourage you to get your Bible out (whether it be right next to you or under a foot of dust on your bookshelf) and read it for yourself. The notes I have taken are a mix of study notes in my Bible and my own interpretation of what it says, mainly the latter. Now that I have let you know, let us begin.

Like I said before, the notes I took were over 2 Corinthians 5. In verses 1-8 Paul compares our earthly bodies to our future resurrection bodies. This is really neat because our old bodies will pass away and we will be given new, perfect ones that will last us for eternity! Can you imagine having a body that doesn't ache? Being able to do yardwork without being sore after? Pretty amazing stuff! Because of this (among other reasons of course!) we shouldn't be afraid of death, we should embrace it! Now, I don't mean go out and do something crazy like kill yourself, but "be anxious of nothing." (Don't ask me where that's found, I only know it's somewhere in the Bible. Like I said, I'm not an expert. ;-))

Verses 9 and 10 remind us that we will be judged. Now this concerned me because, like most people, I have committed some pretty serious sins in my lifetime. Upon further investigation, I discovered that this "judgment" that the Christians will go through isn't going to be a punishment. In Matthew 16:27 it says that "He will reward each according to his works." Phew! Praise Jesus! Now, that doesn't mean that we get off scott-free and can sin whenever we want. God's free gift (salvation) doesn't free us from having to faithfully obey Him.

This thought coincided with what I read in verses 13-15. Verse 15 says, "He died for all, that those who live should live no longer for themselves, but for Him who died for them and rose again." (Aren't you glad He rose again? I am!) Because Christ died for us, we need to live for Him, not ourselves. It's the least we can do.

Verse 20 says that we are Christ's ambassadors and we represent Him in everything we say and do. Now, this can be hard work at first. I especially struggle in the area of glorifying Him in everything I say. I've heard from several other people that they have that problem as well. But, with Christ, all things are possible!

Verse 21 refers to Christ's death on our behalf so that "we might become the righteousness of God in Him." This verse is amazing if you think about it. Christ died for YOU so that YOU could become righteous and go to Heaven. It always amazes me to think about what He went through on the cross for you and me.

While reading and studying the last 5 verses of this chapter, Ray Boltz' song (I'm pretty sure he's the one who sings it) "I Surrender All" came on the radio. I can't think of a more fitting song for the topic. For those of you who aren't familiar with the song, or haven't heard it in awhile, the chorus goes:

I surrender all my silent hopes and dreams
Though the price to follow costs me everything
I surrender all my human soul desires
If sacrifice requires
That all my kingdoms fall
I surrender all
It is now 4:35 AM. I am signing off in hopes of getting a little bit of sleep before I have to get up for school. God bless you and have a wonderful day!